Thursday, July 19, 2007
Mixed feelings
I was quite apprehensive about seeing Niklas today... I mean, who wouldn't? (for those of you who don't know, he was my 'first-love')
First of all, I wasn't meant to have seen him, but decided, when his brother, Aleksi, texted me that they were meeting, to jump in and surprise them. Mistake? I kinda feel like I should have just waited to have the time to properly catch up. Which we'll do tomorrow.
But yeah, I walked away feeling somewhat disappointed. Not shocked, as Aleksi thought I may have been, but rather just kinda flat. Like I was expecting something. Except I don't know what I would have been expecting.
Somehow, I think that's a positive thing though... perhaps I was psychologically preparing for fireworks or something again, like last time we saw each other after we'd broken up. So, I suppose, after all that mental self-defense in advance, my brain felt like it was dressed in chainmail, but had somehow misconstrued a lizard for a fierce dragon.
I was still really happy to see him though...
Apart from that, I went sailing with Sampsa and Jussi yesterday... then met Heini for drinks... then kept drinking... and drinking... until we were joined by some random dudes who Heini picked up at the bar, which was fun... then Aleksi came, and we kept drinking... so I was fairly wasted, lost track of the time, and ended up spending the night on Aleksi's sofa... but yeah... we had lots to talk about, so I'm glad to have gone for a visit... and besides, I think maybe Otto (the tortoise) remembered me ;P
I saw Ilpo again briefly and gave him my Pizzicato 5 vinyl (which I had mistaken for a CD on e-bay)... he still like P5 music, so it's good to have it in the hands of someone who will use it!
But yeah... Niklas. How odd it was seeing him. How very quaint indeed... it really makes me miss my Daeshy a lot, though... I felt strangely lonely after I left for home - and somehow I just really really wanted to see him (Sidhaesh)... and can't believe that there's still almost 5 months to go.
Perhaps all this has cleared my mind of a few clouds I may have been nurturing.
fon @ 12:36 AM link to post * *