Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Done.
This has really been a week of honesty for me.... my second to last blog spoke of the nature of lies, and I mentioned that the kind of lie I'm most guilty of is the kind where I'm saying things because I think that's what the person would like to hear.
Well, today was another moment of dispelling such behaviour and hopefully becoming a more genuine person. I broke up with Sid. I no longer feel like I'm in a relationship with him because that's what he wants. I feel that now, as a friend, I can finally be myself with him.
It's strange. I got in touch with my old friend, Kangana, after many many years, and she has recently broken up with a boyfriend of 8 years. I said that it'll take forever to get over the relationship, to which she replied that, no - in fact, for the last few years, she was only in the relationship for him, and had lost the desire to share everything with him first. That he just wouldn't grow up.
I guess that means something like all the things that disturbed her about the relationship just never got better. Or perhaps I'm just interpreting it the way that I'm seeing my situation right now.
In any case, I believe I'm through with telling people what they want to hear. I'm sick of misunderstandings and mishaps. I've discovered that trying to hard to please people may prolong relationships with people, but is more likely to lead to sad endings when one hasn't really been telling it to people straight.
The road may be more bumpy now, but at least it's not a winding road that leads to a dead end.
fon @ 11:32 PM link to post * *