Thursday, December 06, 2007
Altruism
A few years ago, I attended a particular lecture, with a particular monk... The monk was talking about finding our path, helping ourselves to find balance within the world. About setting our own lives straight (this does not mean in terms of material gain - but rather, in terms of finding 'peace') At the time, I recall being worried about a friend who I felt was 'straying' from his path, and perhaps suffering as a result. At the end of the talk, I asked the monk what I should do about this friend I was worried about. Whether I should help him first. The response?
"Be absolutely sure your own house is clean before you clean his house."
What does that mean in practice? Especially in terms of a humanitarian worker?
On of the biggest criticisms that we'll face in this field is this: What makes us think that we are actually helping? Even as it is, we are acting under the impression that we are 'doing something'. But what is this 'something' that we are doing?
Leaving behind the mess of our own lives in order to put the lives of others in order?
Spreading an ideology?
It seems like what we are doing really isn't so far removed from that which the missionaries once did in the times of colonialism. We have a certain vision of what is right and wrong - which is internally debated - but on the front of the 'suffering' masses of the world, we are united in a desire to 'do something'. Does this sound like 18th century missionaries to you? It does to me.
So now, instead of imposing a western god in order to 'civilise' the masses, we are are imposing another form of pure ideology that seems to come, after all, from a disorganised house. But when we are out there 'helping others', we pretend that everything is ok back home. After all, we can't have them losing confidence in our vision.
If I'd understood his answer better, perhaps I would have asked of the monk - 'so - can we ever be sure that our own house is in order?'
I imagine his answer would have been 'no'. We can't even be sure.
But does that mean we should never try to help?
I think that's not the conclusion that we should come to - but rather, that we shouldn't be forcing any ideologies on anyone.
After all - monks do community work, too, but don't function the same way as workers of western NGOs. The assumption to make should be that those who need help are the the experts, not us.
And doesn't that apply to the friend in need? All you can really do is offer my hand, I can be there, I can wait and see if they ask for help... but how can I assume that he wants/needs that help?
So, altruism. If I am at my friend's house, assuming that he needs help, I'm there wanting him to accept what I have to give, so maybe I will feel useful.
But altruism is the unselfish concern for others. So it seems that many people don't have their own house in order, and 'need' to help others. So although there is no material gain, there is still gain to be had from thinking that one has helped...
Hmmm... I kinda have a western audience in mind in writing this, although I don't know if I have the words to explain it ... *sigh* One word: DHARMA.
But Dharma is not the same as DUTY which is how it is translated directly into English. I leave this entry at that.
- Charles Maurice Talleyrand
She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.
fon @ 8:14 AM link to post * *