My Finnish passport was my first. But I've never felt like a Finn, because every time we visited the country growing up, I was reminded about being a foreigner. As a matter of fact, that Finnish passport I had back then explicitly stated 'Alien passport'.
So my reader will hopefully understand me when I say that 'foreigner' is very deeply a part of the 'Finnish' part of my identity.
To the point: last night's election result scares me, as it probably scares many others who are not mainstream & 'average' Finns. Remember those monsters hiding under the bed when you were a child? I get a similar feeling of unease from the Finnish parliament.
From time to time, we spent a month or two in Finland as I was growing up. One of these times, I attended a Finnish public school. Now I can't help wondering whether one of my classmates who pushed me off my bike and taunted me with calls of 'Vietnamese refugee' is amongst those in parliament.
I can't help but wonder whether someone like that boy who told me he was better than me because I am Chinese voted to get 'my kind' out of the country.
I wonder if the people in that team I worked with, who kept telling me my input on the draft of our text was not needed because I am not a native speaker, are walking around my neighbourhood, relieved by the election results.
I wonder if that 30-something man who said to me as a 16-year-old girl "you Thai ladies know all about this kind of thing" as he grabbed me and kissed me is now making decisions about my life.
I can't help but wonder how many of the people I pass on the street hate me, because I am different. Because I am Chinese, Vietnamese, don't speak Finnish as well, and am a Thai slut here to steal their men and now, their jobs.
Yes, I am scared. Those monsters in the dark didn't disappear. They moved on to scarier tasks.
Labels: discrimination, elections, Finland, nationalism, parliament, rasicm
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