Friday, September 29, 2006
You know you are a couple when...
...you can get pissed off, keep walking, ignore each other for a few minutes and then forget it all ever happened...
...you've been daydreaming and spacing out for ten minutes and come out to ask whether your partner's feet are cold...
...when you honestly believe in the other, and wish them nothing but the best...
... etc.
I had a great time in Sydney, despite all the little disagreements... I guess it's all a process of learning to do more things together without completely losing our cool!
Right now I've got to eat something and get to work, so I better leave this post here, and tell you all about the trip later!
fon @ 12:21 PM link to post * *
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Short trip
Skipping over to Sydney with Daeshy for a couple days... he's got ulterior motives, and I'm just tagging along :P
But it'll be a MUCH needed break. And not to mention... WARM! And SUNNY!
Melbourne seems to be reverting back to winter weather right now.
*sigh* ... it's been a long and turbulent weekend, after the craziest, toughest six - seven months I've ever had. I just want to close my eyes and wake up to find that it's next year already.
fon @ 8:59 PM link to post * *
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Dulci est patrum est pro patrum mori
Can someone tell me what that means? I was a bit tipsy last night, watching 'rage' on ABC and that quote came up.
I'm not entirely sure whether it was attached to the end of this one music video depicting a war and deaths in 19th century Europe (?) or the music video after it, which I now cannot remember.
But I thought it might mean something like "Sweet is the father who for his father dies"? Or perhaps fatherland?
I texted Joel and Alex, who both study Latin (at like 3 a.m.!) frantically searching for the meaning, and neither could provide me with a sensible answer...
Joel: "Oh it is sweet and proper to die for one's country -Horance" ... "but the first patrum should be decorum"?
--but the first Patrum was patrum... or was I that drunk?
Alex: "Dunno, something like The ways of the father are charming for the father"?
Last message from Joel: "Con pugnis Uerbio"
What does THAT mean?
**By the way, I've handed in my last essay in the overload series!! Back down to four subjects now like a normal uni student! Boy do I have a lot of catching up to do!
fon @ 8:03 AM link to post * *
Thursday, September 21, 2006
ราชอาณาจักรไทย
This post has been temporarily removed due to concern for family members who may be affected by my somewhat 'anti-establishment' comments on the Thai situation. There goes freedom of speech out the window.
Taken from the BKK Pundit
"ส่วนการแสดงความคิดเห็นผ่านเว็บไซต ์ของประชาชนกระทรวงไอซีทีไม่ปิดกั้น แต่ขอความร่วมมือให้ผู้ดูแลเว็บไซต์ช่วยกันดูแล ไม่ให้มีข้อความที่อาจทำให้เกิดความแตกแยก ซึ่งต้องหลีกเลี่ยงการพาดพิงถึงสถาบันของชาติ และพระมหากษัตริย์ หรือมีผลกระทบต่อความมั่นคง สงบเรียบร้อยของประเทศ หากพบว่ามีข้อความไม่เหมาะสม กระทรวงไอซีทีมีอำนาจสั่งปิดเว็บไซต์ได้ทันที ส่วนผู้แสดงความคิดเห็นต้องชี้แจงเจตนารมณ์ ในการเขียนข้อความแก่เจ้าหน้าที่กระทรวงไอซีที ซึ่งการขอความร่วมมือครั้งนี้จะมีระยะเวลาประมาณ 12 วันเช่นกัน
(For the expressing of opinions on websites of individuals, the Ministry of Information and Communication Technology does not stop, but asks for the cooperation of website operators to assist to not have any messages which might cause divisiveness and the need to avoid referring to national institutions, the monarchy, or which might have an affect on security, peace and order of the country. If any messages which are not appropriate are found, the Ministry of Information and Communication Technology has the power to immediately close down the website. Thus, cooperation is needed for 12 days)"
fon @ 10:10 PM link to post * *
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
PANIC!!!
Help help help help HEEEELLLPPP!!!
I don't want to graduate!
I don't want to be a linguist!
I don't want to be a philosopher!
I want to be a kid again... I don't want to worry about life!
What the HELL??!!!!
SomeBODY tell me what to DO!!
fon @ 7:14 PM link to post * *
Monday, September 18, 2006
Update:
It was an HD ...
87% in the bag for a third year level course just like that!
Hehehe :)
If you are really keen to read it (ie, if I happened to survey you and you are interested to know how your data helped me), the project is downloadable from here
There's a footnote of mine on page 20 which reads:
"My father often comments that he regrets giving me such an international upbringing, ... constantly moving countries, as he believes that this makes it impossible for me to have any identity at all"
Julie (who marked my essay) added a comment to my footnote:
"My own father told me not to stay away from Australia for over two years, as that would make me an 'international person', which is terrible. Sounded good to me. I stayed away for 23 years."
Just a little disclaimer, though: When I got it back from Julie, she seemed disappointed with me. She said "You could have done a lot better - I don't normally say that to somebody who has gotten an 87% on an essay though."
Well, true. I could have done better. I realised this when I read it over. To start with, the referencing was all wrong. The writing was hurried. There were a few links which I should have made, but didn't.
But hey. It's a third year paper... I'm not an academic quite yet! I guess I should just be honoured that she has faith in me :)
fon @ 2:32 PM link to post * *
Saturday, September 16, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
This time... to "ISA"... in other words: Daddy!
fon @ 5:54 AM link to post * *
Friday, September 15, 2006
My apologies
I didn't mean to spam everyone with the flixter stuff...
But it has proven an addictive procrastination tool and gotten me in touch with a few people again.
This is really embarrassing though, cos I unticked everyones name, and yet it still sent the invite to everyone on my contact list, including lecturers and government departments!
http://fonfonvk.flixster.com
fon @ 6:48 AM link to post * *
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Minor heart attack
I was thinking today around 2:30 that I would check in on Julie to see if I would have gotten my previous essay back...
And she goes "It's being double-marked"
...
Oh...
And the she goes "We get things double marked when it's either going to be a fail or a better mark"
...
"I really enjoyed reading it though."
So Heather Bowe, who is double marking it isn't free until 4...
I'm thinking "... though"
"I enjoyed reading it... THOUGH"
What does that mean??!
You've failed but it was a good read?!
So, in the meantime, I'm thinking that I've failed, shit, there go all my f****** plans down the drain, I won't graduate in time to start honours next year!
Remembering that Alex was still around uni 20 mins ago, and he wanted to go have lunch, I give him a call (he was home already), vent, and spend time being in a panic on the phone...
Then I come into the library, totally disoriented, and vent to two other linguistics students, who reassure my a little bit (and also comically both spill their teas at the same instance accidentally, causing a bit of a situational panic)...
Then Alex calls, feeling sorry for me and comes back to Uni to have a beer with me and mentally psyches me for failure (at this stage I'm sure I've failed it), and says it'll be ok even if I do fail - I've just got to learn to keep going on even if I do fail.
And the time comes... I go and talk to Heather.
I told her what Julie said, and she says I have to get the paper back from Julie, although she has marked it.
She says "You didn't fail though... we only get things double-marked when it might be a fail or an HD. You didn't fail though!"
fon @ 2:39 PM link to post * *
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
[อา วลิษา]
... that's what my nephews and niece call me "Aa Valisa" [อา วลิษา]... or "Auntie Valisa"
And now I've just gotten a new one! Here are a couple photos of 'Sea', born 07.09.06
And below are my three darlings, Sand (Sea's older brother), Indy & Inc (My oldest brother's kids), waiting for P'Sally and Sea at the hospital :)
That said... what a bad time to be born (for me, that is)! Now I'm sitting here thinking ... "wow... I've got two nephews and two nieces"... "cool"
...and in general taking the opportunity to NOT write my essay... Oh, well, guess what I'll be doing tomorrow then?
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
A Glimmer of Hope...
It seems as though I may still be able to go to Singapore after all...
Where I was previously was that I was not approved to study one of the four honours-level units I had selected at NUS, because they didn't think I had the background study required for that course.
However, after a long and drawn out academic battle with Monash abroad as the middle-man, NUS decided that I can take some of their Masters level units, if I don't mind being assessed on a Masters level...
Whilst three of the units at Masters level really fascinate me, I'm not sure if I should bite off more than I can chew... although those units are straight linguistics units (linguistics is not offered at undergrad or honours level in NUS though), you do need to have completed honours already for entry.
What to do?
The units seem so much more fascinating to me than the honours ones...
I guess if I manage to do these things at Masters level, it means that I won't have so much trouble writing a good honours thesis...?
fon @ 6:59 PM link to post * *
Monday, September 11, 2006
a good theory:
01001001 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01110011 01110100 01101111 01110000 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100011 01110010 01100001 01110011 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00101110 00101110 00101110
fon @ 1:19 PM link to post * *
Before I begin...
It's going to be a hectic week ahead, with three assessments due in, so before I start, a quiet moment of meditative and preparatory writing (ie procrastination) is in order:
"Our mind is like a cloudy sky, in essence clear and pure but overcast by the clouds of delusions."
Sunday held much needed chill-time... I met with Tenzing in the morning, for breakfast at Piazza Victoria, and he gave me an important lesson in finance in a two hour sitting! I think I'm ready to look into investing in some shares... he was trying to convince me that share trading is much more profitable... but I don't think I've got the time for such a thing!
It was good to catch up with my dear friend :) :) :)
In the afternoon, caught up with Yogi (and her friend Cindy) to go to the Ian Potter gallery for Charles Blackman's Alice in Wonderland exhibition. Very thought provoking! Apparently, he painted the whole series while his wife was pregnant and going blind. He found the spatial distortion experience by Alice to be amazingly parallel to that which his wife was going through. The awkwarness and sadness, as well as the love he had for his wife really shines through in all his paintings in this series!
And... who do we bump into on the way out except for Mr. NLC convenor 2006/7, Eric Pang? And despite him being from WA he asks me: "What are YOU doing HERE??!!"
But well... I need a break from studies and work, too :)
I haven't yet mentioned the most important part of the weekend: spending a little bit of time with my Daeshy...
Something is wrong with me, seriously! I've started crying when I know I'm not going to see him all week...WTF??! I mean - I don't see my family, other friends, etc for years, and when I say bye to them I kinda go "Ok, see ya" and walk off! And this is just one friggin week!
Oooh... one bit of important info! I'm an AUNT AGAIN! Congratulations to P'Ed and P'Sally for their second child, "Sea", a baby girl who I'm sure is as gorgeous as her older brother "Sand". I'm still waiting for pictures!
...*sigh*...
Time to get to work...
fon @ 7:12 AM link to post * *
Friday, September 08, 2006
Quick question:
Someone told me something strange...
Do you think I'm SCARY?
fon @ 10:28 AM link to post * *
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Sadness 101
We've all done things we aren't proud of, and I'm no exception.
Why this sudden expression of remorse?
Well, I read something I'm not really supposed to have read, something that I don't know exists.
All I can say is this:
Many of the things you say about me are true, but not all of them. Nonetheless, you are justified in thinking those things. The things that are true, however, were very insightful. And that's why my heart broke, reading it - not because of the insights, but because I know you have good reasons to believe the falsities.
You see, I very much keep my emotions in the moment, and I'm picking up those pieces now, and my heart is already mended. Does that mean I don't care?
I'm sorry that I can seem so cold.
You were right about one thing: Yes, I am mad because you tell me I can't trust my friends. My friends are my friends, and if the definition of a close friend is somebody you've known since your school days, then true, I have no friends. I don't deny that, and that is not why I am angry.
What makes me angry is that you would tell your friends to come and be my friends, too, and judge that they are somehow better than my friends, and that you chide me for not staying in touch with them!
I would only need your pity if I felt that never having been anywhere long enough to form a circle of friends somehow handicapped me. But I don't think it has, and this is because I don't believe there is such a thing as a 'best' childhood, or a 'best' person.
Perhaps I'm making a radical claim here, but this is what I believe: Life can be beautiful because of the difference and because of the fact of pluralism in beliefs and peoples - not because there is such a thing as "perfection" that people can attain!
*** --- *** --- *** --- ***
With a little hindsight, I realised something:
Those postings were directed at me... ofcourse he knows I found his blog!
It's clear that I'm not helping matters by nosing around and commenting. It's clear that it's better to leave his space alone. As tempting as it is, I won't be visiting again.
fon @ 3:30 PM link to post * *
A response
"Enlightenment for a Wave in the Ocean is the Moment the wave Realises that it is Water."
I was browsing Tedy's blog today, and there was a post with the ever-salient question: What is the meaning of life? And I thought... Hmmm... well, I'm a philosophy student, perhaps I should give it a go. And I replied in his comments section... but then I thought, I'll modify it a little and see what people think?
I had this feeling I’ve coined “the omnipresent why” after yoga-class today. And it gets me really really depressed. It's not a materialistic why - like a "why do I not have more money?" or "Why is she prettier than me?". It's a metaphysical why - "Why do I bother? Why should I keep living? Why do I do what I do? Why don't I retire to a life of meditation?" As I was walking home, I tried to reason my way out of it. But that didn’t help. So I stopped thinking about it. And then I realised something - that I’d stopped feeling cold, that I didn’t feel that my steps were heavy...
So this was the key: Stop thinking. Stop analysing. Stop thinking “I want - I think - I wish - I feel” etc.
And then I realised how pointless it is to ask why... because questions of 'why' are questions generated from the self - and these questions become meaningless when one can see beyond the ego. I ask the question "Why?" because I want answers. So I must strive to let go of this ego.
... But it’s hard... and it can be fleeting. In fact, I think I’ve lost that feeling already, and trying to describe it in words to myself is like showing a desert nomad a drop of water and saying that the ocean consists in a lot of this stuff.
... Meaning of life? We spend a lot of time contemplating the meanings of a lot of things in Philosophy, but it still doesn’t answer the questions. Perhaps it’s the very fact that after all the contemplation, there will always be questions that keeps us all going. Would you want to live in a universe where you knew everything? If this is the case - that you wouldn't want to know everything, but keep learning, then is the meaning of life the pursuit of knowledge?
fon @ 11:11 AM link to post * *
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Another post, since today is the day for it :)
**Something worth mentioning: I checked in on www.gconsole.com (A Thai gaming site), and through that stumbled across the blog of somebody I've been worried about - he's alive and well and getting numbers off Japanese chics :) I'm happy that all is going well... Really happy. Reading this has made my day.**
Last night at work was funny... this drunk guy stumbled in, and I wasn't sure what to do cos the manager wasn't around...
Him: I want a bowl of pasta.
Me: Ok, take a seat over there.
[He sits on a table at the window, between two other tables that I'm also serving. On one table is a British-Japanese couple, and on the other, an American couple.]
Me: Do you know what you would like?
Him: [very slurred speech] Something simple... spaghetti... bolognese. [picks up wine list]
Me: Did you want something to drink as well? [oh shit oh shit oh shit - how do I tell him he's too drunk and I can't serve him alcohol?!]
Him: [stares hard at menu] Ummmmmmmmm..... [silence]....
Me: I'll just put through your pasta and let you think about that longer. How about I just bring you some water for now?
Him: Oh yes... thank-... you. Water.
[phew - good save fon!]
By the time I was back with his pasta, he'd fallen asleep on the table, slouched over and nodding.
Me: Excuse me?
Him: [...]
Me: [leaning in closer] Excuse me, would you like to eat your pasta?
Him: [...]
[The American couple and the English/Japanese couple are sniggering now]
Me: [gentle nudge] Your spaghetti bolognese?
Him: Hmm? Oh! Thank-you [starts attacking pasta]
English man: You must not be married, because you would have elbowed him in the head otherwise.
Me: Umm... [looks at Japanese lady] Is that what she does?
...
Ok.... it was a strange evening. After the drunk dude finished his pasta, he fell asleep again, and this time I got Marie to talk to him and convince him to pay the bill. Apparently he didn't remember eating the pasta and was surprised by the bill.
I was told not to serve people like that anymore by David today when I phoned in to change my account details (I should have just not told him about the incident - I thought he might have found it funny - but he didn't!)
....
Thanks again to Elvira for driving me home after work... she's just the strongest person I know! She's so responsible, so tough, and takes shit from nobody. Ultimate respect!
fon @ 5:52 AM link to post * *
Strange character...
Last Sunday night (not last night, but the Sunday before) I came home to the sight of a couple suitcases in the hall. I stood there, half-way done untieing my shoelaces, contemplating the strange scene. It was only eleven... but ... no Dood in the kitchen appeasing his normal midnight cravings. The lights in the apartment were off, even though his keys were hanging on the door. And the suitcases.
Taking in the new scene in my state of after-work-blur, I didn't immediately look towards the living room - but when I did, I saw that there was somebody sleeping on the sofa. Oh! I turned off the lights in a hurry...
So, one of Sarinda's friend's stayed with us from last Sunday night, and he left yesterday.
Interesting character... wasn't sure quite what to make of him. Terrible listener, and really rubbed me the wrong way most of the time, with comments such as "You look Philipino or Ozzie" or "You would make the ideal housewife", "Only Australia has people of mixed ethnicity", "Everyone in that part of the world just looks Asian", "All the Singaporeans are Chinese."
Here are a couple dialogues from the past week:
[scene: Monday night, watching Emmies, having a beer]
Me: That woman has nice skin.
Him: Oh, that's Eva Longoria - she's one of the most beautiful women in the world
Me: Ummm.... I don't watch T.V., wouldn't know who that is
[discussion continues about something else]
Him: So what's your favourite T.V. show?
Me: I don't have one. I told you - I don't watch T.V. at all. As in - I haven't myself picked up the remote control in the past ten years in order to watch T.V.
[silence]
Him: So how many hours of T.V. do you watch per day?
Me: I don't watch T.V.!!! ZERO!
Him: What? You don't watch T.V.?! How about per week?
Me: ZE - RO!
[...]
Him: What do you do in your leisure time?
Me: Not much of that - I tend to keep myself busy
Him: What are you running away from?
Me: Huh? Nothing...?
Him: But everyone who keeps themselves busy is running away from something.
Me: What, did you do a crash course in psychology recently or something?
Him: Come on - You clearly are hiding some dark secrets!
Me: [ooohhh myyyy godddddd - Dood, why did you leave me alone with this moron?!]
[scene: Tuesday morning, I'm trying to study in the living room cos I fell asleep studying in my own room]
Him: I can tell your study hard.
Me: Not always - I just have a lot of work to do this semester.
Him: No, I can see from your palm.
Me: What, you can read my palm while I'm writing?
Him: Oh - I can see some lines. Would you like me to read your palm?
Me: [...] um...
Him: [takes my right hand, looks at it for a long time]
Me: [getting uncomfortable] Aren't you going to be late for work?
Him: It's ok. [Continues looking at hand]
Me: Right... so what can you tell?
Him: [getting up] I'll tell you later. I've got to go to work now. [leaves]
[scene: Tuesday evening, having dinner. Dood is not home yet]
[Phone goes on screensaver, picture of Sid pops up]
Him: Is that your boyfriend?
Me: Yes.
Him: How long have you been together?
Me: About a year and a half
Him: It's all good?
Me: Yeah.
Him: Do you really love him?
Me: Yeah.
Him: Do you fight a lot?
Me: Sometimes - You ask too many questions!
Him: Do I make you nervous?
Me: No. But you really piss me off!
Him: Huh?... What? I piss you off?
Me: Yeah, but it's ok. It's alright to be pissed off sometimes. It doesn't mean that I really dislike you.
[scene: kitchen, Tuesday night as I'm cleaning up from dinner]
Him: I have a gift. I can tell a person inside out straight away.
Me: Yeah, a lot of guys think that.
Him: Yeah, but I really have a knack for it.
Me: [oh god, it's this f***ing male ego/instinct thing again] Oh, yeah? So tell me about myself.
Him: Ummm...
Me: Well?
Him: Don't you know about yourself?
Me: So you don't know any you're just trying to cover up
Him: [...]
[Wednesday night, Dood has gone out, I've just opened the door for our guest and excused myself, saying I have an essay to write. He called me earlier to ask if I'm home and whether we should go out for dinner. I said I've got an essay I'm working on and that I've already eaten]
[door knocks]
Him: FOooOON?
Me: [opening door] Yes?
Him: I'm going out to get dinner, care to join?
Me: I've already eaten.
Him: Do you want me to bring you something?
Me: No, I'm fine, thanks. I'm just gonna get back to my work [close door]
[door knocks again]
Me: Yeees? [get up and go open door]
Him: Are you mad at me?
Me: No! I'm just in the middle of a thought! [yeah, but now i'm getting to being mad, dammit!!]
[Scene: Friday night, I've just come back from work]
Him: Fon, what do you know about cold feet?
Me: You already asked me this on Tuesday night... And I told you, I've never been married, I don't know!
Him: But you must know. How do girls behave when they get cold feet?
Me: Honestly, I don't know! And why would all girls behave the same anyhow?
Him: What are the symptoms?
Me: I don't KNOW.
[this goes on for quite a while]
But, despite all this frustration, and rubbing the wrong way, etc... I'll miss him! He definitely was an entertaining character. He probably just arrived during the wrong week, cos I was super-grumpy, writing up my 5000 word piece (which ended up being 6500 words).
Oh... speaking of that super-essay... I feel sad. I worked so hard on it, and came to love it so much that I felt wrong shoving it in Julie Bradshaw's mailbox... like I was sending out a little child to be judged by the world. I wonder if that's what a mother feels like when she sends her child to school for the first time?
One last thing: Thanks for a beautiful Sunday afternoon:)
fon @ 5:37 AM link to post * *